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Eski Sayıları

Eğlence 21.04.2000 - netyorum.com / Sayı: 17


"List Messages"

Eğer internet ortamında bazı listelere abone olduysanız aşağıda okuyacaklarınızla karşılaşmadım demeniz olası değil. Bu yazıyı Türkçeleştirecek kimse varsa, Türkçeye çevirdikten sonra bilgi@netyorum.com 'a iletirse, önümüzdeki sayılarda sayfalara ekleriz. Teşekkürler.

- Q: How many list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?

- A: 1,331:

  • 1 to change the light bulb and to post to the list that the light bulb has been changed.
  • 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
  • 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
  • 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
  • 53 to flame the spell checkers
  • 156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.
  • 41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.
  • 109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb
  • 203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.
  • 111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts **are** relevant to this mail list.
  • 306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.
  • 27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs
  • 14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs.
  • 3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list.
  • 33 to summarize all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers, and then add "Me Too."
  • 12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
  • 19 to quote the "Me Too's" to say, "Me Three."
  • 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.
  • 1 to propose new alt.change.lite.bulb newsgroup.
  • 47 to say this is just what alt.physic.cold_fusion was meant for, leave it here.
  • 143 votes for alt.lite.bulb.

I, who should have know better, posted a followup of a few bits I thought were missing from the list

You forgot a few:

  • 27 to post in HTML because they are using the IE or Netscape that had it turned on by default and are too clueless to look
  • 48 to complain about the HTML posts
  • 27 to post 'sorry I didn't realize it was on' -- in HTML
  • 96 to complain about more HTML and post detailed instructions on how to change the setting
  • 58 to mumble something about using a web browser to read mail
  • 12 MIME posts with useless colors and bolds saying thanks for the help with the HTML mail
  • 1 to post a GIF/JPG of the lightbulb hanging too close to their digital camera.
  • 1 complaint from the guy using /usr/ucb/Mail who wants to know what the *@&(%$!@ has been going on
  • 58 to complain about the binary post
  • 74 to say they liked the binary and didn't mind it
  • 1 post about how you can MAKE MONEY FAST!!!!! by selling lightbulbs and this report available for only $5.
  • 1328 to reply to the list with the full spam attached and then put 'remove' at the end
  • 3 to flame the other morons for replying to the spammer and CCing the list
  • 1 from the list admin notifying that the list is looking for a bigger server to handle the load

There have now been several followups:

  • "How did I get on this list?"
  • "How do I get off this list?"
  • "REMOVE"
  • "REMOVE
  • UNSUB
  • SIGNOFF
  • REMOVE
  • TAKE ME OFF THIS LIST"
  • "unsubribe" [sic]
  • "Morons, you have to send it to the majordomo address"
  • "How am I supposed to know that?"

If it wasn't so pitiful, it would be funny.


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